Rocket Science

Because, obviously, it takes a genius to fill a snowglobe with water.
Honestly. I collect snowglobes, and I mean, one is only half full, and
one is completely full with no airspace to shake it in.

:-P

This has been: The Daily Gripe, with Everisse Eterna.

True Insanity

My friend owns Arma-Rose Sequester. The OCs in this are not the actual
representations of our OCs.

-------------

It is a Thursday. And Valkyrie Cain and Skulduggery Pleasant are
randomly standing around on the sidewalk, for no conceivable reason.
And then all of a sudden, a boy with stupid hair appears next to them.
A red-haired girl is standing behind him, twisting his arms behind his
back. Another girl, this one with green and pink hair has his shoulder
in a death grip. Skulduggery and Valkyrie stared. The girls smile,
releasing Fletcher.
"Um," says Valkyrie. The green-and-pink haired girl snorts. "Um to you
too!" she says. "I'm Arma-Rose, but you can call me Arma. You must be
Val and Skul."
Skulduggery tilts his head slightly. "Do we know you? How do you
know our names?"
"Oh, that's easy," said Arma. "From the boo-" She is silenced by the
redhead, who claps a hand over Arma's mouth. "Shut up!" she says.
"You're breaking the fourth wall!" She turns to the two detectives.
"Hullo! I'm Everisse, but you can call me Ev!" She looks them over.
"Are you two together yet?"
At this, Valkyrie turns a rather peculiar shade of scarlet, and
Skulduggery clears his throat. Arma frees herself by biting Everisse's
hand. "No way!" Arma shouts, and all of a sudden, Billy-Ray Sanguine
is standing right near them, looking faintly confuzzled. "VALGUINE!"
shouts Arma, and everyone stares at her. "VALDUGGERY!" replies
Everisse. "VALGUINE!"
"VALDUGGERY!"
"VALGUINE!"
"VALDUGGERY!"
"VALGUINE!"
"VALDUGGERY!"
The three canon characters look on with a mix of confusion,
annoyance and amusement. Sanguine coughs loudly, and the two girls
break off their shouting to look at him. "We're right here, ya know,"
he says. The two girls are silent for a minute, then pick up where
they left off.
"VALGUINE!"
"VALDUGGERY!"
"VALGUINE!"
"VALDUGGERY!"
"NYESPECKLE!"
"... What?"
"Uh. Nothing."

There is silence for a moment. Then everyone spontaneously combusts.

Again.

people keep poking me

The Story of Ursula Prase

Ursula was tired of her friends trying to drag her into violent
situations involving too many humans behaving poorly, so she
disappeared into the wilderness with her mule and her trusty dairy
goat.

She didn't know how to survive in the wilderness, of course, so she
died straight away, but the mule and goat did fine and had many
exciting adventures running away from bears and mountain lions and the
like.

The end.

Buffalo Dip

Yeah. Hey. As much as scraping moulding buffalo cheese dip out of the bottom of a pan, then washing the pan, sounds...

It isn't.

If you'll excuse me, I have to go disinfect my whole body.

The Pocky Queen

Rocket Star likes stories

She usually dictates what she wants to happen in her bedtime story, and I tell it back to her.  This was last night's:

Vulpix and Ninetails wanted to go to Dreamland, but they didn't know the way.  So they had to ask their map.  They didn't have a backpack, so they kept the map in Vulpix's tail.  They pulled it out, and map said first they had to go to Candyland, then they had to go to the blue unicorn forest, then they had to go to the dark scary creepy forest with the evil evil evil skeleton unicorns with glowy red eyes and spinny bones for horns.  So Vulpix and Ninetails set out for Dreamland, and came to Candyland, where they ate tons of candy.  Then they went to the Blue Unicorn forest, where some of the unicorns were blue, and some were white, and the blue ones were mean to the white ones because the white ones had no hair.  So Vulpix and Ninetails took off their tails, and Ninetails took off its mane, and they gave them to the bald white unicorns, and then the blue unicorns weren't mean to the white ones anymore.  Then Vulpix and Ninetails regrew their hair and went on to the dark scary creepy forest where they defeated the evil evil evil skeleton unicorns with glowy red eyes and spinny bones for horns - I think there was a lot of kicking involved here - and then they were at Dreamland.  Vulpix wished it was a Ninetails, and Ninetails wished it was a Vulpix, cause there's not another evolution of Ninetails.  And they were happy.  The end.

Lots and lots of tangents not really relevant to the story were omitted, mostly cause I can't remember them.

as promised

A picture of a goat.

Nonsensicality

Nonsensicality

I love crackfic. Especially when I write it in a serious style. So I'm posting it on this blog because it really doesn't make any sense. I don't own Skulduggery Pleasant, McDonald's, Harry Potter, Charlie the Unicorn or... George Washington.

So let's assume, for some strange reason, that the Skulduggery gang chose to go to McDonald's. Am I insane, you ask? Of course! Now shut up and read.

---------------

It was a relatively quiet day at McDonald's. That is, until the door was flung open and a markedly peculiar bunch of people strode in. There was a skeleton in a suit, a boy with ridiculous hair, a blond woman with a sword, a bald, scarred man and a teenage girl clothed all in black. The skeleton spoke first. "Excuse me, sir, but are these Big Macs of yours magic, by any chance?" The freckled boy at the counter looked up. "No sir, the Big Macs are not magic." The skeleton scratches his skull underneath his hat. "Then, the fries? Are the fries magic?" The freckled boy sighed in annoyance. "No, sir, the fries are not magic either. I'm pretty sure nothing on the menu is magic. And with all due respect, you're a skeleton. Do you even eat?"
"None of your business!" shouted the unfortunate skeleton, and turned to walk out with as much dignity as her could muster.
He was blocked at the door by a pale man with a scar running across his face. Following behind him was a near literal army of pale, dark-haired people. Vampires. "We're vampires," the man heading the group said, "and we're angry because apparently we can't tan." The blond woman with the sword strode forward, holding it aloft, but she stepped back as the vampire army was rudely pushed out of the way by a group of teenagers in robes.
"Who are you?" asked the black-clothed teenager from earlier. "I'm Harry Potter! I'm a wizard!" replied one of the teenagers. "I'm confused!" exclaimed the boy with the ridiculous hair. "You're always confused," replied the girl in black.
And just then, somebody pushed the wizards out of the way. Or something. It was a unicorn. A white one. And two other unicorns followed him. The unicorn sighed. "I'm Charlie," he said, in some sort of weird accent. "I don't know what's going on, these two brought me here." The two unicorns behind him giggled, and said something unintelligible about vortexes in their ridiculously high voices.
The door was pushed open again, and this time it was a single person who stepped in. He had a white wig, and he was wearing old-fashioned clothes. "I'm George Washington," he proclaimed, "father of our country."
"You fool!" shouted the scarred vampire. "We are in Ireland, not America!" And the vampire pulled off its skin. But it wasn't a bald, sharp-toothed creature underneath. It was...
"A goat?" exclaimed the skeleton incredulously. The goat pulled a top hat from seemingly out of nowhere, and placed it on its fuzzy little head. "One of Ann's goats?!" The goat attacked George viciously.

And then everyone spontaneously combusted. The end.

- The Pocky Queen